The terrible thing about getting a misshapen gummy is that it reminds you that the food you are eating is a glob of chewy stuff pressed into a shape, and you’re okay with it being a glob of chewy stuff so long as it stays in that shape, but once it’s a deformed mass you have to recognize it for what it truly is.
- Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
- Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
- Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
- Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
- Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
- Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
- Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
- Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
- Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
- Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
- Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
- Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
- Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
- Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
- Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
- Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
Donald Duck reads his fan mail in A Day In The Life Of Donald Duck - 1956
(Source: vintagemickeymouse)
When Jim Henson died, Disney artists Joe Lanzisero and Tim Kirk drew this tribute of Mickey Mouse consoling Kermit the Frog, which appeared in the Summer 1990 issue of WD Eye, Walt Disney Imagineering’s employee magazine.
(Source: badwolfebay)
(Source: bittersweett)
(Source: joshanddrake)
(Source: misanthropejosh)
SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!
Kids, back in 2012, your aunt Robin wanted to do something more with her life. So she took her love of guns to an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D and fought alongside the Avengers.
Now, your Uncle Barney and I took it pretty hard; she was getting to spend a lot of time with another billionaire playboy, this guy named Tony Stark. Your Uncle Barney almost went crazy when he found out the guy had a metal suit.
“It shoots fireballs, Ted! He looks like a freakin’ storm trooper!”
Then your uncle Barney decided to fight back.
